Ten needles liberated!

While I was working my new Knitting Completion Plan last night, I freed up the following needles. No, I didn’t produce any new FOs, but these needles were inside the project bags, just waiting to see if their services would be required.

* Crystal Palace 3.25mm bamboo dpns, set of five
* Clover/Takumi 3.75mm bamboo dpns, set of five

Back to the Needle Storage Facility with thee! (For those of you in the Navy, I believe this would translate to NedStorFac, or perhaps KnitOrdStorFac. Get used to it, Lauren.)

So, here’s my Knitting Completion Plan. Keep in mind that I continually work to subvert my own best intentions, and that if I have publicly declared a plan to be in progress, I will feel compelled to alter it immediately to make it less effective. But this is the plan that I am sure would work if I kept following it.

Step One. Work one repeat of the Irish Hiking Scarf. Any more than that, and I will get confused about what row I’m on. Fractions of a full eight-row repeat will not even be considered.

Step Two. Work one step of the baby Tsock. Last night I finished the heel flap. Tonight I get to turn the heel, which will take just a few minutes and give me that wonderful “queen of the world” “First Knitter” kind of feeling.

Step Three. Knit on the Harlot one-row scarf until midnight or I fall asleep. Last night it was midnight.

Supplemental Step. Keep the salt & pepper socks in the purse/knitbag at all times, so I have something to knit on in spare moments during the day. I was also carrying around the Harlot one-row, but it’s on super pointy 14 inch German wooden single points now, and kind of dangerous.

I have a lot of trouble following simple plans like this, so feel free to hound me about it. By the way, the next phase of the plan is to substitute the purse for the baby Tsock when it’s done. And I am thinking about frogging the EZ Thockies. I was reading her pattern for them in Knitter’s Almanac, and from what I can guess, she knitted them flat and seamed them up. Surely there must be a way to figure out how to finish them conventionally — they are just 44 stitches of worsted weight being knit in the round. But at this point I’m inclined to send them to the frog pond just so I can restart with a clearer pattern. I hate to think I’m not ready for EZ yet, because I love her so. But, sadly, it may be the truth.

Look! A flower!

Spam Quote of the Day

SEATTLE (May 31) - A 27-year-old man described as one of the world’s most prolific spammers was arrested Wednesday, and federal authorities said computer users across the Web could notice a decrease in the amount of junk e-mail.

Robert Alan Soloway is accused of using networks of compromised “zombie” computers to send out millions upon millions of spam e-mails.

“He’s one of the top 10 spammers in the world,” said Tim Cranton, a Microsoft Corp. lawyer who is senior director of the company’s Worldwide Internet Safety Programs. “He’s a huge problem for our customers. This is a very good day.”

If only they’d given out his IP address. Then I’d know if this is my guy. On the other hand, lately my spam content has shifted, from prescription medications to gay pr0n. So who knows.

Knitting needle liberation front

I have been getting really jazzed about starting a Backyardigans knitalong thing. But as Lauren reminded me, she (and by extension, me) still has a lot of projects on the needles. All those projects deserve to be finished.

So…. after thinking of the many many knitting projects I needed to finish… I finished one of them.

The Moebius.

The garter-stitch grafting wasn’t perfect (which is why I’m hiding it, above) but I took a deep breath and did it. It’s off my list now. And the side benefit was that I freed up three knitting needles and two of those little rubber caps that go on the end of the needles to keep all your stitches from sliding off.

Liberate your needles! Join the Knitting Needle Liberation Front! (Pay no attention to the clever fliers you may have received from the Liberation Front for Knitting Needles. Splitters.)

Now that the Moebius is done (not perfectly, but done, so I’m not worrying about it), there are a few other projects that deserve my attention. Yes, before I can even cast on for Tyrone. I am sure I have listed these before, but I’m listing them again so you can feel free to harass me about them if they don’t all become FO’s by the end of June.

* Hogwarts Swap Socks. Status: waiting for yarn.
* EZ “thockies”. Status: first sock awaiting heel flap work.
* Baby Tsock. Status: second sock in mid heel flap.
* Rainbow purse. Status: working strap in linen stitch.
* Harlot one-row scarf. Status: 26 inches done, rest of skein to go.
* Salt and pepper socks. Status: first sock has 2 more inches of plain knitting to do before heel work starts (Harlot sock recipe).
* Irish Hiking Scarf. Status: 15 inches done, about 45 (a skein and a half) to go.

I am not even listing stitch markers or quilts that need to be done. I hope it’s not an early winter, or Tyrone’s going to be mighty cold. Any votes for what should be the next FO?

Oh, and Barbara scored both the Bead&Button Show tickets. Enjoy the show, Barbara!

Spam Quote of the Day

North. South. East. West. No matter where you’re headed in the U.S., Thrifty’s got a great rate on a great rental car.

This came up after the meme in which I answered Ann K.’s question about how far in each direction I had traveled. And now that we all know how Thrifty is doing business…. those rates had better be pretty darn amazing.

Lantern Moon story

These long weekends are curious. It’s like I get out of orbit from the knitblogosphere and shoot out (like Superman out of the time vortex) to a place where, while things are nice and fun and there’s good beer, there is very little knitting and no chatter about yarn, knitting books, patterns, and all that stuff that sustains me the rest of the week. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time with my husband! But I did miss everyone else.

Of course, I didn’t finish any projects. The most I got done over the weekend (which is really amazing when you think of it) was sorting through my Big Bag of Paperwork. Whenever I pay the bills I put all the statements in a plastic bag to be filed later. Yesterday I got my files winnowed out of everything prior to 2006, so I had room to file the newer statements. (The kids will get to run the shredder this week!)

Here are some things I learned:

* Tommy’s birth certificate is incorrect. I didn’t correct their error within 365 days, so I might have to take court action to have it fixed. Which does make me want to double-check things…do *I* have the wrong date?

* My credit report lists me as having AKA’s that I have never used.

* I don’t have my own copies of birth certificates for my two youngest children.

* Aha! Tommy’s Social Security card!

* I have a slightly stronger credit rating than my husband, but I can’t successfully apply for credit because I don’t have any income.

* I keep too d@mn much paperwork.

The Saga of Lantern Moon

But none of that is interesting to anyone but myself. So, here is the story of how I spent Saturday getting thoroughly lost.

I was working on my one-row Harlot scarf (how about the Log-Cabin-on-point pattern on the skein as the yarn kits away?) …

…when I noticed that the tips of my beloved Lantern Moon needles were turning, well, green.

I was puzzled. I hadn’t used green yarn on them. I didn’t think it was mold (!!!) and it wasn’t happening to any of my other needles. I tried washing it off, but that didn’t work. So I e-mailed the store [Iris, in Appleton] where I had purchased them. Soon I got a reply — Lantern Moon would replace them if I sent them back. At first I thought I’d mail them, along with samples of the yarns I’d used on them. Then I realized I had most of a Saturday alone with the kids, with nothing planned. And a road trip was born.

When I had discovered Iris before, I had been just driving around with Mom and the kids. I hadn’t been following a map or looking for a yarn store. I just found them. It all seemed so simple, just go back. But I forgot that I hadn’t gotten there directly from Stevens Point. This became an issue.

I took route 10 east and east and east. I found Appleton all right, but by the time I really knew I was not on the right path and really knew I had to get directions, I was actually in Menasha. Fortunately, the place I stopped for directions was a bead store that I hadn’t known about. (Business card: snag!) The bead store owner called the yarn store owner, wrote down one set of street names, then explained the route using a whole set of different street names. I took one of the streets west (passing a bead studio, a scrapbook superstore, a Hobby Lobby, and two quilt shops I couldn’t stop at) until I saw the Interstate, then happened to glance up and saw that the Interstate’s next exit was the street I wanted.

Go under freeway. Look for next right turn. Navigate around/through mall. Make next right turn. Now east east east until….Iris!

Which I still don’t have any pictures of, because this time I had to take everyone in with me. I was kind of busy keeping everyone’s hands out of the mohair. I don’t think my pictures could have done it justice anyway. There is so much packed in lots of small spaces there, that you just have to go and see it all for yourself. Though you should probably not take four small children. The employees were really wonderful about it and totally helpful, but I did notice that by the time we left, there were no other customers. Sorry about that.

But. They got the green needles and yarn packed up to send back to the distributor. They brought out puzzles for the kids (Jack dropped a skein of kettle-dyed Merino when he heard the word “puzzle”) and offered us pumpkin bread. They helped me pick out project yarn. They offered to wind it up into cakes with the ball winder. Tommy and I were the only ones who didn’t get a chance to turn the crank.

So now I have some of this (it’s Cascade 220):

And I want to make one of these:

Whew! That’s a lot of typing! You will have to ask me later about my blooming irises, the next batch of Laurenspun Merino for the dye pot, and the 100 percent Alpaca I picked up to make myself feel better the other day. And oh yes, if you’re interested in knitting a Tyrone sweater too (I know at least a couple of you have a boy the same age as Jack), Lauren and I are doing this as a two-person knitalong and there’s no reason we can’t have more company. Drop a line!

Hogwarts Show and Tell

Today is Show and Tell day at the Hogwarts Sock Swap. Hufflepuff could really use an extra five points, so here I am. Well, there’s not much to Show, so I’d better get started on the Telling.

My self-striping, hand-dyed sock yarn is on order and probably being swatched up by the spinner/dyer as I type, just to make sure it will make stripes all by itself. (Clever yarn!) After it arrives, I plan to (surprise) knit it up into socks. I don’t know how the pattern choice would affect the striping… so they will probably be plain socks with ribbed cuffs.

If the self-stripage doesn’t work out, I will use a Charmed Knits pattern for House Socks, using thin strips of the contrast color.

Last night I tried doing the Eastern Cast-On that Ann Budd describes in the Summer 07 IK for toe-up socks. The first time was a total bust. The second time I think I was okay until I started the increase rounds. On one of the short rows (I think there were three stitches on the needle) I am guessing the needle got turned around the wrong way before I did the increases. The result was such a mess I couldn’t bear even to photograph it. I just pulled it off the needles, wound it back on the ball, and went to bed. I think I would do better using the provisional crochet cast-on… but not under pressure, making socks for someone I haven’t yet met. So these will be cuff down just as soon as they can. I don’t mind Kitchenering. Like the Harlot says, it’s like high school. Don’t give a technique a hard time just because it has a reputation. (By the way, her Canadian book launch is tonight. I’m willing to make custom stitch markers for the first person who can prove that they had a drink at Elizabeth Dooley’s in Toronto.)

If you are intrigued and not discouraged by my Hogwarts Sock Swap exploits, you can sign up for the second phase of the swap, which starts after Book Seven is released. Details are at the link above.

I just got back from the grocery store with dozens of packets of Kool-Aid, so with any luck I’ll get to dye more beautiful Laurenspun Merino today. Or soon. I hope it turns out similar to the first batch! I am going to need a bigger dye pot….

And the quilt client wants me to redo a section to align it better. I said yes (of course; I’m a Good Girl) but it’s going to be difficult. Sigh.

Spam Quote of the Day

<snip> from the middle of a huuuge spam post:

Please note, however, that posting unsolicited comments to the blogs or websites of other people may be a violation of our anti-spam policy. So please use good judgment when including your AGLOCO referral information in comments on other people’s blogs.

No kidding! And this instance would be an example of….?

Pre-emptive strike

I will be out or busy for who knows how long tomorrow, so here is tomorrow’s post…today! (That Was The Week That Will Be? I need Douglas Adams’s time-travel tense here.)

Here’s a good picture of the quilt top, right side up and all in one piece. The client is coming over tomorrow afternoon to check it out. I hope everything is in the right place because I reallllllly don’t want to pick stitches out to change anything around. (But I will do it if I have to.) Unfortunately, the quilt shop where I bought the sashing fabric is having trouble getting more of the same fabric to use as the backing. The owner has been in touch with the manufacturer but is running into so much trouble that she’s appealing to a group of quilt shops she belongs to, to see if anyone else has enough. Yes, it’s still being made!

And I ran into almost a literal snag with the salt and pepper socks. Nothing I can’t overcome, but it’s @#$ annoying.

Can you see what the dpn is pointing at? It’s a freaking KNOT in a 50g ball of sock yarn, that’s what it is. WTF? You’d think that would be an amount of yarn you could count on being sold in one piece. But no. Now I’ve got to untie the thing and find another way to join the yarn. (Though I must admit they did match up the relevant parts of the colorway very well.) EZ says if you find more than one knot in a ball of yarn you should call the manufacturer, who will be happy to find out there is a problem to be corrected. This is a German-sold yarn made in Italy and I am not willing to make that phone call. (”Danke shoen, problemo with yarno. Capice?”)

At any rate, the sock looks good so far. I really love the striping patterns I’m getting as I move through the stockinette. I just resent there being a hurdle placed in my tiny little knitting path.

To take revenge (take that, you knot!), I cast on for and started knitting a Harlot one-row scarf out of the Patons Decor Tapestry yarn. It’s gorgeous. I will be knitting on it all day tomorrow. I was going to use size 6 needles but decided to use my Lantern Moons instead, and they’re size 8. C’est la vie. Doesn’t bother me. I’m waiting for my next visit to a new Wisconsin LYS to pick up size 6 wooden needles, and I don’t know when that will take place. I just wasn’t willing to wait any longer. I love the texture this particular stitch creates. It makes a squeezably soft and very comforting scarf.

Meanwhile, I also have to find/create/modify a pattern to start the Hogwarts socks. I’ll have pictures of everything on Friday. Happy knitting!

Spam Quote of the Day

Lieber grumble!!!

I may make this my new German curse phrase. Yes, I’m getting German spam now. I assume it’s because of the link I made to the German knitting blog. I will run some of the longer phrases through Babelfish.com and post them if they’re entertaining.

Monday’s Mail

Time to do some show and tell. Here are pictures of the goodies I got in Monday’s mail. I would have shown you sooner, seriously, but I like to drag things out over time. Haven’t you noticed?

First open was a box from Arizona from Lauren. It contains a knitting-pattern-a-day calendar. We agreed, some of the patterns are cute, some are outstanding, and some are dogs. But it contains an entry form for knitters who think they can improve next year’s product. Do you think I should write up the Emergency Necktie? I wouldn’t get paid or anything, it’s just for the good of the cause. (Their cause to sell calendars.)

Then was an envelope from Wiley Publishing, containing the book I won in their drawing. Go and knit up some Charmed Knits beanies and send them in to the publisher. Go quickly! Each hat is an entry in a weekly drawing before it is donated to Warm Woolies.

And then there was the first donation of leftover yarn to the “organization” I am tentatively calling St. Helen of the Blessed Skein. No disrespect intended, just a reference to the only movie I know about a Catholic school fund-raiser. (At least that’s what I told the kids. They like to point out all the safety violations.) Thank you Beth M.! I am not sure if I will create a new blog for St. Helen’s or what.

Knitwise, I am rocking on the salt and pepper socks now that I am past the cuff and on larger needles (I went from size 1 to size 3). I think I will cast on for the second one now that the needles are free, to combat SSS before it has a chance to start. Pictures tomorrow. It is actually looking like a Sock, and a handsome one at that.

I need to show some progress on my Hogwarts Sock Swap socks on my blog on Friday. The trouble is, I don’t have the yarn yet. Wait, I’m thinking….

Familywise, Tommy weighed in today at 15 pounds 2 ounces. So we need to have another weight check next week and hope he has gained much more by then.

Someone else is being shown the rectory! Oh no! I hope they see a ghost! We have to get this house on the market and sold so we can get it for ourselves.

ex husband naked

People have been looking for this site in some very interesting ways. Over the last few days, literally dozens of people have searched for the Chocolate Sheep blog using search terms related to planetary alignment. I guess you never know what will stand out in someone’s mind when you write. (Granted, if you typed in “knit” you could surely read blogs for hours and never find Chocolate Sheep. There are one or two other knitting blogs.)

Here are some of the terms people have used:

murder of Robert Herndon
To attempt to clarify things, I don’t know who murdered Robert Herndon. I thought this phrase was from my Crafty Fiction list, but I Googled him and apparently he was a real person who was really murdered. I know nothing about this event.

picture of finger knitted sheep
This one mystifies me. Does anyone know why this phrase would have even come up?

dingleberries
I do remember writing about dingleberries.

top speed of a sheep
“Top speed of a sheep” cracks me up. I don’t know how this one got in somebody’s head either, but I imagine the speed was clocked shortly after shearing. Will any of my shepherd friends back me up on this one? And what is the top speed of a sheep? I can’t imagine them running in a straight line long enough to get the radar gun on them.

ex husband naked
Okay, I can see where this would have been memorable. Too bad this didn’t result in an e-mail from Tracy Pollans Fox asking who the heck I was talking about. That would have been funny. (Trust me, I would have told you about it.)

canadian things in the edible woman
Yes, I used all those phrases. On the same day, and in the same post. But not in a row, people!

On the home front, Tommy has discovered oatmeal. He likes it. And I have another half dozen photos almost identical to this one. Maybe the oatmeal mask helped him feel more photogenic.

I finished the Hufflepuff beanie…

…and the quilt top. I tried to stitch the pictures together electronically, but it didn’t work. I have a feeling I need to apologize in advance for this version, too. I will hang it properly and take a real picture of it today.

Oh yeah….I got great mail yesterday and took pictures of all of that, too. I’ll save those for tomorrow. Until then, thank you Lauren, eKNITabeth, and Wiley Publishing!

UPDATE

It’s 12:51 my time and someone has already searched for this site using the term naked. Just thought you should know.

New project lust

I am so close to finishing the Hufflepuff beanie I can almost taste it. Well, not that it would taste very good. There are 12 stitches on the needles, so all I have to do is break the yarn, thread the needle, and weave in the ends. Then I should get the Moebius grafting done once and for all. I really want to start some new projects:

* a Harlot one-row scarf for myself, from the Patons Decor. I already have it in a project bag.

* a lace scarf for an unnamed recipient.

* my Hogwarts Sock Swap socks.

Of course, there’s still….the EZ Moccasin socks, my salt and pepper socks, the second baby sock, and an infinite number of beanies. And I must have started and abandoned something else. What could it be?

But I think it’s time to try lace. Does anyone have a suggestion for a first lace-pattern project? I found a scarf I want to do (see list, above) and it has a lace diamond pattern with a bead at every diamond tip. The silly thing is that each bead is individually sewn on after the scarf is knitted. Wouldn’t it be much easier just to incorporate them in the knitting? Ends to weave in are enough; who wants to sit and sew on 127 pearl beads? Easy Knitting, my a$$. Not much of a reward for learning to do yarn overs, I think.

I also want to come up with a site-specific knitting project. I will be able to attend the USGP with Mr. Beth (a weekend away from the kids! what will I do!) and I would like to come up with a racing themed thing to knit. A scarf with green, yellow, red, white, blue, back, and black/white sections? Socks with a checkered flag panel? A kid’s sweater with an intarsia racecar? Ferrari colored mittens? I may have to settle for making myself a racing themed knitting bag to carry my salt & pepper socks in, since the date will be here sooner than I think.

How did your weekend projects go?

Spam Quote of the Day

Hello guys. If you have troubles with “size” - visit this page for solving that problem.

Reminds me of another line from Steven Wright: Some people are afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths. 

Arrrrrrrr!

Last night I finally got to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Wow, that was a lot of fun! And Mr. Beth was clever enough to pick up the sequel at the video store, so I have that to look forward to tonight.

Did anyone else think a lot of The Princess Bride and The Mummy when they saw this movie? What else is in the Comedy-Adventure genre?

And I know we’re the last people in the world to watch this for the first time. Believe me, you’d be amazed at the movies I still haven’t seen.

Knitwise, I’m chugging along on the Hufflepuff beanie. Once I get past the ribbing and start changing colors, it just flies. The black yarn is tough to see, though. How do people manage to knit black stockinette on adult sweaters? They should get a special prize.

I’m still waiting for the beaders to out themselves for free passes. Spread the word, folks.

What are you knitting this weekend?

Free pass

Now, usually, when I mention “free passes” I’m thinking of the husband/wife free passes that (in a good relationship) you offer to your spouse if that certain celebrity hottie strolls up. Just in case someone makes them an offer they can’t refuse, you give them that free pass and let them take advantage (or be taken advantage of, depending on how your fantasies go — I won’t pry) with no penalties from you.

In today’s case, however, I’m talking about actual free passes, for one-day admission to the Bead&Button Show in Milwaukee, June 8-10. I have two of them via my status as a small publisher (hey! I’m Media!), and I’m not attending the show this year.

So I’m giving them away. No trivia contest, no hoops to jump through, no elaborate swaps. Just post a comment to the effect that you want one or both of the passes. Like it or not, those dates are coming up quickly and I want to get them in the mail to someone who’s going to use them.

Check out the official site. It’s an amazing event and I swear I will go someday. Note that the site says the events is actually held June 3-10. That’s true: hundreds of classes in beading, lampwork, wirework, you-name-it, all start before June 8. The tickets I have are actually vouchers for free tickets, which will need to be presented at the Midwest Airlines Center box office.

You can’t get ‘em if you don’t ask. So just ask!

In family news, Tommy is bulking up, Jack is telling jokes ( “Mama, I Colleen! Hahahaha!” ), Colleen is teaching everyone everything, and JC is counting down the days until the end of school. I am staring at the dishes, but they’re not doing anything. I think they got a message from the laundry pile — lie low and she won’t bother you.

Knitwise, I did some more of the ribbing for a Hufflepuff beanie while I watched Remington Steele last night. (”Vintage Steele,” highly recommended, with optional commentary by the script author.) I have less than a round before I can switch colors. I’m finding it next to impossible to read the black-yarn stitches I just made (did I purl that?) and only slightly easier to read the ones that are coming up. But I don’t think I’ve screwed it up yet. I still have a fraction of an inch of ribbing to go on the salt & pepper socks, and I’m about halfway down the heel flap of the second baby sock. Moebius lies unfinished.

Yarn dyeing pr0n:

Hey! Did I ever mention that my friend Lauren spun this up?

The Harlot On Tape box is now residing at 40° 42′ N, 73° 20′ W. It’s going Down South next … heads up, Holly!